Monday, May 27, 2013


"Redeemed"
by Big Daddy Weave

Seems like all I could see was the struggle
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past
Bound up in shackles of all my failures
Wondering how long is this gonna last
Then You look at this prisoner and say to me "son
Stop fighting a fight it's already been won"

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be
I am redeemed, I'm redeemed

All my life I have been called unworthy
Named by the voice of my shame and regret
But when I hear You whisper, "Child lift up your head"
I remember, oh God, You're not done with me yet

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be

Because I don't have to be the old man inside of me
'Cause his day is long dead and gone
Because I've got a new name, a new life, I'm not the same
And a hope that will carry me home

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, 'cause I'm not who I used to be

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, yeah, I'm not who I used to be
Oh, God, I'm not who I used to be
Jesus, I'm not who I used to be
'Cause I am redeemed
Thank God, redeemed

Here's the link to the actual song if you want to listen to it. 


Hopefully you took the time to listen to that song or at least read all those lyrics. It's such a powerful song to me. How many times in my life have I felt unworthy of God's love or felt completely overwhelmed by His love? Too many to count. Every time I face a new struggle I have tried to roll it off my back and say that my whole life has been a struggle, which is pretty true. From a child, to a teenager to adulthood I have felt a big call on my life, but at every turn it seemed the enemy was trying to kill me physically, emotionally and spiritually. As a child I felt ignored and inadequate  As a teenager I was so depressed I wanted to take my own life. Thankfully God loved me so much that He never gave up on me and constantly sent people across my path to lift me up. I watched my Mom struggle for her life on a daily basis. After the birth of our 1st son my marriage almost fell apart. And now I have a son who, according to medicine, shouldn't even be alive. Yet, through all of these struggles God has shown Himself so strong in my life and He still wants to use me despite my struggles. Josh and I have faced so many trying times in the last 10 years and we finally feel like we're at a place in our lives that we have great hope for the future. An "easier" life is just around the corner. We're building a house of our own after living in an apartment for 6+ years. Our car is almost paid off and we're watching God move in our little Pax everyday. Watching Him heal Him everyday is so amazing. We're both finally on the same page and diving into God's presence. I'm finally in a place where I'm ready to answer the call of God on my life. I don't feel bound by my past anymore. I, by myself, will never be "good enough", but God's love and grace and mercy is there to redeem me and make me worthy. Seriously how great is our God?? It's such an amazing feeling to be able to "shake off those heavy chains" like the song says. 

If you're reading this I hope you take the time to listen to the song and let God minister to your heart. Answer His call. What is it the He is asking you to do?