I. Am. Exhausted! But in a good way. We went home to Branson this weekend just for the fun of it and to spend time with family. Paxy was getting over a cold and teething so he didn't sleep the best, which meant Mama didn't sleep the best. But we got some major shopping done, which was fun and got to have some great laughs with the fam as always. I absolutely LOVE my family!!! They are the best! I wish I could see them more often though.

Going home is always fun, but it always brings a lot of memories back too. It makes me think about my Mom a lot, which of course makes me miss her even more. For some reason a certain memory stuck out to me more than normal. When we go down to Branson we always drive by Skaggs hospital multiple times. (Mom passed away at Skaggs.) When we drove into Branson Friday night and drove by the hospital, as we passed I looked down the road and could see the exact spot where my Dad met my brother, sister and I to give us the news that she was gone. On that very early morning in May 2001 when Dad gave us the news my 1st reaction was to drop to my knees, lift my hands and start worshiping God through my tears of sorrow. My 1st reaction. I so distinctly remember doing this and how I was feeling at the time. I had always lived a life dedicated to God and had always wanted to serve Him, but in the days leading up to Mom's passing God brought me even closer to Him...probably in preparation for what was to come. So on that morning, I think in that moment I was surrendering everything to Him and choosing to praise Him no matter what life would bring. All of this came flooding back to me this past Friday night as we drove by, as well as every other time we drove by this weekend. I remember being so close to God and I had to ask myself if I was still in that same spot with God or if I had pulled away. The answer is no, I'm nowhere near as dedicated as I was then, but how I long to have that close relationship with Him again...and I've been working on it. There's nothing like it in the world. No earthly relationship could ever even come close to being as awesome as a close relationship with God.

It's hard sometimes to make time for your Maker when the kids are screaming, the house needs cleaned, breakfast, lunch and dinner need to be made and not to mention the enormous pile of laundry that needs washed, folded and put away. However, I KNOW that as I make time for HIM that somehow there will be more time in the day to accomplish all the Mom/Wife stuff. I just have to learn to put Him 1st and let Him be my 1st reaction again...in any situation.

Matthew 6:33 NKJV "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you."

Ps. 69:32 NKJV "The humble shall see this and be glad; And you who seek God, your hearts shall live."

As you probably already know February is congenital heart disease awareness month. There's so much that needs to be done to raise awareness that I don't even know where to start. CHD's are something that I never knew anything about, but is the #1 birth defect. 1 in 100 babies born are born with a CHD and CHD's are the leading cause in infant death. How crazy is that!? I have no idea how I could not have known that before or why it's not more publicized than it is. In the US twice as many children die from CHD's each year than all forms of childhood cancer combined, yet funding for pediatric cancer research is 5 times higher than funding for CHD.

There's a whole lot more statistics that I could mention, but I'll move on. Recently I did an interview for Stephanie's blog where I got to tell Pax's story. If you'd like to read it click here.
She is doing a series of interviews with heart Mom's for CHD awareness month. You should go over and read some of them. They are so inspirational! Be sure to have some tissue ready though because you'll probably let a few tears drop.

Oh and I almost forgot...Dakotah is taking part in a fund raiser at school called Hoops For Heart for the American Heart Association. His goal is to raise $250, by Thursday. (He has to turn everything in on Friday.) He only needs $150 more to reach his goal. Here's his website that he has set up for it. You can read more information about it here.

Have a lovely Tuesday!

Did I call it or what? Last night Pax figured out how to climb the bunk bed ladder. Thankfully Dakotah was there to watch out for him. I had already forgotten about it this morning when I discovered him on the top trying to climb across to the top of the dresser which happens to be by the bed. Oh dear!! So off came the ladder!! I didn't even know he could climb up or down regular stairs (we don't have stairs here) much less a ladder. My growing little man!

On another note, this weekend was quite eventful. Last Thursday Dakotah had a major asthma episode that got him sent home from school. Then later that night I ended up taking him to urgent care who sent him to the hospital for the night. After breathing treatments every 2 hours and some other meds he is on the mend. He's finally back on controller meds for his asthma and finally got an inhaler instead of the nebulizer. Oh I was so sick of that stupid machine that takes forever!! Tomorrow he goes for a follow up appointment with his pediatrician so we'll see what they have to say.

Today was an almost snow day at home day, but for many of you it is a snowed in at home day so enjoy!!

My little baby is definitely NOT a baby anymore. It seems that we are heading for the early toddler stage where they get into absolutely everything and you have to go through the trash to make sure nothing important is in there...like your wallet. Im fairly certain this is the reason most of my silverware disappeared when Kaiden went through that stage.

Pax has recently learned how to climb onto things such as the couch, chairs, the diningroom table, my bed...oh and the bunkbed ladder! Thankfully he can only get to the 2nd step, but it only took him about a week to learn that so I'm sure that it won't be much longer before he learns to crawl to the very top. Oh dear!! He has also learned to WALK! Yay!! While I'm very proud of this achievement and glad that he has finally done it, it means I have to keep an even closer watch on him. He's just in the beginning stages of walking though so he loses his balance a lot so I've got a few more "lazy" days. Ha! I've been trying to catch him on video and I finally did today for a few seconds. I'm blogging from my phone, but I'll try to post it for y'all.

On a different note, Pax and I have the entire day all to ourselves. Josh and the band traveled to Missouri for the whole weekend for a show and so Josh could preach at a church. And Kaiden and Dakotah went to Wichita with Grandma & Grandpa Coats to celebrate cousin Isabel's 5th birthday. I'm thinking shopping is definitely on the agenda today. :) That and some peace and quiet. Enjoy your weekend everyone!

Here are those pictures I promised you a while back. Enjoy! :)

Well grrrrr!! I was working on a post about the last couple months with pictures and everything, but for some reason my computer decided to log me out of blogspot in the middle of it. So I lost the post and all the pictures. So here's the summary, since my last post my sister got married, Thanksgiving was lots of fun, Pax had a wonderful 1st birthday party (and actual birthday), Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were so special and New Years Eve was an absolute blast! When I have reliable internet I guess I will upload a bunch of pictures for you then.

Pax also had his December cardiology visit and his 1 year check up. They both went well. His cardiologist said that the pressures have pretty much stayed the same. In addition to the issues with the pressures in the aorta his mitral valve looked "tight", but that was all she said about that. She said she felt safe in letting him wait until March to go back so that's when we will go back. She said he'd probably need a cath either then or within a couple months of that. But for now he's doing very well. He's growing and developing well. :)

His pediatrician is also happy with him. He had been really sick (GI stuff yuck!) for a few weeks so he got to temporarily miss out on getting his 1 year shots...there are 6...yes, 6 of them! How excessive is that!!?? Geez! He's in the 50% for height and 15% for weight. I'm not worried though...Dakotah has always been in the 10% for weight, while Kaiden was always at least 50%. We got to report that Pax had learned to sit and stand and walk around while holding onto stuff so he won't be needing physical therapy. yippee!! He's getting very close to walking too. The other night he took his 1st small step!! Yay!!! I love to watch my children growing and learning.

I think that's it for now. I'll post some recent pictures when my internet and computer cooperate. :)

I've been reflecting a lot lately on the past year and all that we have been through and all of the changes that have occurred because of the challenges we have had to face. Specifically, I have been thinking a lot about the challenges that I have faced in the last year. Having a child with special health needs makes me look at my own health whether I want to or not and really examining where I am and where I want to be in my health.

When I was growing up I had to watch my Mom deal with some really incredible health issues. I watched her struggle and fight for her life everyday and she did it with a grace and courage that I have yet to see in anyone else. For as long as I can remember she fought against her weight which in my opinion caused her major health battles. After seeing her go through everything she did I made a pact with myself that I would never be like her physically. I promised myself that I would do everything I could to be physically fit and healthy no matter what. I have kept that pact in my mind and heart even up until now.

In the summer of 2009 I realized that I had "let myself go". After having 2 kids I had put all my focus on taking care of my husband and 2 kids and that I didn't have time or energy to put into myself. I decided that summer though that I was going to change my lifestyle. I started exercising and eating right and I started to change my thinking about food and fitness and self worth. That was 2 years ago and everyday I still have to remind myself that I am worth being healthy. I remind myself that my kids need me to be healthy and my husband needs me to be healthy. I need to be healthy so that I can teach my kids to be healthy and for Pax it is of HUGE importance that he lead a healthy lifestyle.

Having Pax around has made me look even harder at myself and it makes me take things a step further and look at what we are teaching the boys about health. I'm also learning that I have to rely on God to give me the strength to lead a healthy lifestyle. And ultimately I have to find my self worth in HIM.

Today I "fell off the wagon" big time and about ate myself into a candy coma. So to prove to myself that it doesn't matter I made myself work out really hard before bed and it felt so good!

These days my motivation is the picture of my Mom on my mantel, as well as my wedding pictures (I was skinny then. :) and of course Philippians 4:13 (AMP) "I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through HIM Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency].

Josh and I Summer 2009

Josh and I Halloween weekend 2011